Yesterday brought with it two surprises and my black dog (depression).
Returning from work hubby led me blindfolded down the driveway to our new home.
My heart raced. I froze and just stared. He had taken the dream in my head and made a start on bringing it to life.
I was blissfully happy.
Then our five year old son got home and told us about his bus ride.
A crescent shaped cut in his ear. A fingernail. He reluctantly told us about being slapped, bitten and scratched by older kids.
He is five years old! Our kids are the only littlies on this private bus to a school which prides itself on virtues. And not one of the young adults said a word or stepped in or even alerted the driver.
My heart broke the moment he defended the teens. “It’s ok Mum maybe tomorrow they will be my friends again”.
How do you feel hope for the future when you have to destroy a child’s naievity to keep him safe?
The black dog has set up it’s kennel in my mind and in my head it is red.
Which brings us to the question… How do you be present when depression has you numb?
A common idea is a gratefulness diary. To put in words and images what you are thankful for in this moment. To record it and acknowledge that ok right now you might feel nothing but the depression will ease eventually and one day you will read the words and see the pictures and feel again.
On that note it’s time to share what I’m thankful for today…
1. Thank you to the neighbour who planted this red flowering gum on the verge. I drive past it almost every day and the red of the flowers never fails to make me slow down and look.
2. The WA Christmas Trees (Nuytsia floribunda) are in bloom! Nothing says Christmas to me like this native tree. I’m yet to grow one for my block. Tricky to establish as it is a parasitic tree but so worth the effort. One day soon this will remind me to feel hopeful and excited for the experiment to come.
3. THE Jacaranda driveway! On the drive to my block of land I pass this. It is the reason I grow Jacaranda trees and persist with getting them through the first few winters (they don’t like our frost but once established are fine). Absolutely beautiful…
4. Hobbies and work to keep me busy and too tired to worry… An assortment of succulents growing for my Mum in Law. Trenches I’m digging for the downpipes to capture water for the new tank. And of course the progress on our home. Almost there. Keep hopeful!
Best of all…
I am thankful for being able to share these places and photos with you all. Perhaps an image might give you a boost today too.
I’m thankful for my family who keep me company on my neverending “plant hunt”, encourage my enthusiasm when it is present and push me to keep trying when it is not.
Hello everyone (fellow gardeners and black thumbs equally welcome).
For those that follow Mr Propagator’s Six on Saturday you know what’s coming….
For those who have yet to meet Mr P, check out his blog here and join the SOS crew (because we’re awesome).
Righto… Into the garden.
1. Jacaranda season begins ❤.
Blue skies. Weather is heating up. Single days of 35°c but not week long heat just yet. It’s coming. Purple blossoms everywhere you look. Nothing says Christmas is coming like seeing the pop of purple in every fourth yard.
2. Gailardia ‘Goblin’
I’ve never grown blanket flowers before. This one was in the shade of an Acacia and is liking it’s “hot but not baking” spot. Such a happy flower. I will grow more.
3. Honeycomb from hive one of two.
Hubby added another box to the bee hive and cleaned out a little honeycomb for the kids to suck the honey out of.
It is amazing to see the bees break these down and reclaim the wax rather than produce more from scratch.
4. Irish Strawberry Tree.
Mislead by the common name hubby dearest decided to buy this Arbutus unedo for me. I’m curious to see if the fruit is as bad as others say. Nevermind. Look at the gorgeous new growth! Worth growing anyway because it makes me happy.
5. Mulch! Tis the season to be mulching.
Given summer here means weeks of 35°c we use layers of cardboard and paper scraps from home. Then a thin layer of pea straw held down with some mushroom compost. It seems to keep most plants alive. Fingers crossed.
6. Bauhinia (orchid tree).
Flowers from our neighbor’s bauhinia tree. Seed pods over the fence are fair game once they ripen 😊. I’ve got seedlings potted on from last year’s seed ready for our block in Autumn.
Well that’s me for this week. It may be hot but the sun does good things for my mood mostly. Maybe in 3 months when I’m over Summer I’ll feel different but for now I’m enjoying the colour.
It has been a long four year wait to begin building our home. By February we will move to our home.
And oh how my heart has longed for this day.
I’ve always believed some people (like my Dad and like me) need a connection with our environment. A piece of earth to set root and belong. Since leaving home I have been adrift. Home has been with my husband and children but the city is not a healthy place for me.
Driving to our block (5 acres in wheatbelt Western Australia) my black dog curiously curls up for a time and sleeps.
Opening the gates I come home to my garden and sanctuary.
Steel frame home. Simple. We have 5 acres of garden… Why would I want to be indoors?
The frog pond we dug and cemented is taking shape. The citrus are settling in and snapdragons and stattice are keeping the bees busy.
The plants hubby and I have propagated and gotten through long scorching summers. Jacarandas and Brachychiton (Flame trees) will one day flower at the same time. A mass of purple and red.
Mostly trees to cope with extreme heat and our long dry summers.
Others build the house first but we’ve had no choice but to wait so our garden has come first.
I prefer it. The windows frame views I have imagined for years.
Right now I am chaos personified. Exhausted.
But the views make it worth the wait. Help me keep patient but also hopeful. Now we know where the septics will go I can plant my next orchard.
Soon. Be patient Nat.
I will get to wake up and walk outside into the garden I love best. It’s not fancy. But it is home.